Garden Alive: Feng Shui on the Path

My husband has completed the enormous project of cutting a path through our backyard hill as discussed in an earlier blog. As with many projects that have a purpose, it took on a life of its own. He listened to its flow and followed the energy to create a beautiful, meandering walk through a once unwalkable hill.

What the path accomplished for us is a definition of areas. Instead of one big hill to consider, we now have smaller garden plots that can be treated as a unit. One day as I was walking the path, I was inspired with an idea that will help define the areas even more, which is to give them specific names. We could name one of them after our cat Bodhi who typically sits in that part of the hill—the Bodhi Garden. Another area where years ago we placed a lawn ornament with the Chinese character for ch’i could be called The Ch’i Garden.

When incorporating Feng Shui in a home, I’m very specific about instructing people to use all the rooms in their home. If not, some part of the home and their lives will become stagnant. It has become blatantly obvious this same concept must be applied to the garden as well. If there are parts of your garden or yard you can’t get to or don’t access, something is going to be dormant in your own life.

Whether we stay with the suggested names is yet to be determined. Not only does the gardener himself have to determine their appropriate titles, but also the garden. Anyone who has walked the path comes away with a smile on their face and their spirits lifted. Something came alive when the path was uncovered, and it isn’t just us. Everyday I see our cats strolling on the new walkway. In fact, one day I found one of them actually sleeping on the path. Knowing how cats are so sensitive to energy, I have no doubt an energy has surfaced offering a fresh message from the land. I’ll bet the garden can offer up some great names—better than any we’d conjure up or imagine.

Recharge the Battery or There's No Place Like Home

I couldn't wait to get home this evening. I had planned on spending the night at my parent's home just to extend our visit together. So often I am dashing out of there after a brief stay that I thought it would be nice to spend a leisurely day and evening with them. But as the hours passed, I found myself getting more and more anxious. I couldn't really explain it. I was having a perfectly nice time with my mom rolling stuffed grape leaves and chatting with my dad about his extensive garden. And yet, the anxiety persisted.

Nothing was really waiting for me at home. My hubby was away and my cat was fed. I watered the garden before I left and my computer was with me. The anxiety was certainly not coming from any unfinished business. I had spent the night at their home before, though not recently. It's only about a half hour from my home, so there is never really a need. I contemplated my anxiety.

Perhaps it was too reminiscent of childhood, which although positive, found me playing a far different role than the one I currently have in my family. Perhaps it was because the last time I had a sleep over there was right after my divorce many years ago. Indeed, a home can bring back all sorts of memories from the different times in our life. Though all these things seemed like possibilities, nothing was standing out as the "right" reason. But, I headed home anyway.

Once here, the anxiety ceased and it became very clear why I needed to come home. My life is hectic. Though I am social and enjoy people, I am actually an introvert deep down. Home is my sanctuary. It is where I plug in the recharger to my personal battery. If I am away for too long, the battery power starts to fade. Sometimes "too long" is several days and sometimes it is several hours. It just depends on the day. I am grateful that my home has this ability to revive me. I have worked hard to create that feeling here. It is so vital to me. Perhaps that is why I feel the need to help other people do the same; so that they have a space to decompress. It's actually pretty selfish...I just want less crabby people in the world.

Rocking the Flow: Keeping Feng Shui in the Family

In recent days with the deaths of so many celebrities, I’m brought back to a question that has been nagging me for years. The question has to do with stuff----more specifically, who’s going to deal with my stuff after I’m gone. I presume this is critical for me because I have no children of my own who will take care of this issue. The thought of a stranger making decisions about my treasures doesn’t set well.

When my Mom passed away, she had reduced her life to one room. Clearing out most of her things had occurred in the years prior to her death, so that once she was gone the remainder of her clothes and furniture were disposed of in half a day. I always appreciated that about her. My sister, however, is still going through my niece’s extensive collections of stuff five years after she died

When my Dad’s mother passed away he came back from her funeral in North Dakota with her rocker. She had rocked all eleven of her babies in that chair. My Dad refinished it and now I have it. I’ve treasured it with all my heart over the years, but I have often thought about what will happen to it when I’m no longer around to appreciate its beauty and its history.

A valid question could be why I’d care if I’m dead. But this isn’t about me, it’s about the rocker and where it belongs. My sister isn’t interested in it; my nephew doesn’t understand its meaning. So last summer when some cousins from North Dakota were visiting, I showed them the rocker. One of them remembered Grandma’s rocker that had been in her bedroom and always wondered where it went. Without thinking I offered it back to her. I knew it belonged back in a part of the family where there were generations who could keep Grandma’s memory alive. Although I loved this little rocker, the thought of it returning to where it started its life filled my heart. My cousin has kids and grandkids who, she assured me, would all be interested in the chair.

Because she was traveling by train last summer and couldn’t take the rocker with her, my sister and I will be delivering it to her in North Dakota this week. I’m very sad to let it go and will miss its sweet presence in our house, but I know this is right and I’m happy for its future. Its energy will be alive and well long after I’m not.

Where's the Party? or A Hefty Dose of Feng Shui

This weekend I was witness to a powerful example of feng shui. I participated in the space planning of an outdoor music festival called Project Earth. Often, music festivals can be a bit of a ruckus crowd; loud people, party atmosphere, general disrespect for others. Project Earth is, by its very nature, designed a little differently. It’s a charity event with all the proceeds going to a variety of worthy causes around the world. The number of tickets is limited to a smaller amount than is usually allowed at this venue. The crowd tends to be more mellow and peace loving. There is a whole area devoted to healing and meditation staffed by holistic health care professionals. But, even with all of the above, in years past, there still seemed to be a party vibe toward the back of the park.

When I first started discussing the layout for this event, I noticed that the back of the park, where the partiers congregated, was actually the power position or the command position of the whole entire park and campsite. The command position is the area in a room or space that is the least vulnerable energetically and generally has the best view. When something or someone is in the command position, their energy can often dictate the energy of the entire space. And though, at Project Earth, the partiers were not dictating the energy, they were having more of an influence on then desired.

The solution was to put the healing area in that position at the park. Nearby was the family camping area. The result was that it grounded the entire festival. There was even more of a sense of peace this year than in previous years. There were more children than ever, almost as if they could feel the call before they bought their tickets.

Something else that was new to this year was that they incorporated the use of the elements in the layout of the park. Though they didn’t use the traditional feng shui five elements as their inspiration, they designated four quadrants of the park into air, earth, water and fire. This also brought a very organic feel to the entire festival. Each area was decked out in colors and objects that represented the respective element. I feel, more than anything else, that it was bringing that intention to each of the areas that created such a fluid weekend. There was a real sense of continuity throughout.

It’s always fun to see the effect that feng shui can have on one person. But it was really fun to see the effect that it had on 2500 people.

Opportunities are Knocking: Feng Shui at your Front Door

It is not unusual for me to go to a Feng Shui appointment and discover that the only way the client knows I’ve arrived is to bang my fists against their front door. There is either no doorbell for me to ring or the one that is there doesn’t work. Sometimes there’s a little note taped to the doorbell informing me that it is out of order. Or there may be a small piece of tape stuck over the doorbell to hint at its dysfunction.

Of course, our first order of business once I sit down with the client is to advise them to repair the doorbell. In Feng Shui the front door can be a beacon for opportunities and possibilities that may come into your life. The doorbell is like the “voice” of the front door and can assist in bringing in more money, or a new relationship, better health or a better job, depending on your intention. Having the voice silenced doesn’t help in bringing about positive changes.

Not only should the doorbell work but it should have a sound that you like. Having watched a client wince or another one jump when a doorbell went off during consultations, I am here to say how important it is to be able to open the front door with anticipation and excitement, not aggravation or fright.

If the doorbell doesn’t work, a door-knocker is an appropriate substitute. A door-harp can also replace a doorbell, providing gentle ringing tones when someone arrives. Installing a wind-chime near the door, low enough for someone to reach it, is another option.

So if you want to bring in some good energy, make sure your doorbell is pleasant sounding and works consistently. Opportunity may be ringing.

Uncovering a Path and Following Its Flow

Our house has been blessed with a steep little hill in the back. It’s a great Feng Shui asset, representing protection and support. Most Feng Shui people would love to have a hill like ours in the back of their house. That said, it is still a challenge to maneuver up the hill requiring someone to crawl around on hands and knees trying to plant anything. The hill extends into our next door neighbors’ yard and they have resorted to planting grass on the surface---an interesting sight when they try to use the lawn mower. My gardener husband has planted various shrubs and lilies, hydrangeas and phlox on the hill, but by mid-summer it’s overgrown with weeds because, of course, it’s nearly impossible to scale the hill to do any maintenance.

Somewhere in the not-too-distant past, my husband and I discussed terracing the hill to make it easier to get up there. We also tossed around an idea for a path that would take us to areas of the hill we had never been able to attain. We couldn’t ever figure out how either project would work, they each sounded like a humungous undertaking, and my husband quite honestly didn’t think he could pull it off.

For some reason, this spring things were different. One warm afternoon we stood at the base of the hill and in about 30 minutes’ time, we could see where a path should go. We crawled up the hill and let it open up in front of us, around some of the shrubs, in front of others, from one end of the garden to the other. Our excitement was unbounded!

The path is in progress as I write this. We have already blessed it with some Feng Shui energy. The excitement about it is that it seems to be guiding the project. Every now and then my husband will come in and say “Look what the path is doing now!” It’s better than we could ever have done ourselves. It has come together fluidly---I won’t say easily because I’ve watched the effort it takes to lug the stones up the hill. But there is a definite organic force behind it all.

Stop. Hey. What’s that Sound…or the Nose Knows

The sounds and smells of your space have a great impact on you on a day to day basis. Because we have a lot of auditory and olfactory associations, those sounds and smells are affecting us far deeper than we may be aware of consciously. I invite you to start paying attention to what is happening in your home and in the homes you visit. Are there particular things that evoke a certain feeling? Say you notice that hearing the sound of a friend’s pond is really relaxing. Maybe you can’t go out and install a pond, but perhaps the addition of a fountain in your office would be a nice. There are so many sounds that you can add to your home that can evoke a positive response-like a certain kind of music, a wind chime outside the window or the water feature I mentioned. Of course, this can only be determined by you, because what’s nice for one person is annoying to someone else. Like, I have a friend who absolutely detests wind chimes-so that’s not going to be a relaxing addition to her home.


So, on that note, there are all the sounds in or around your home that may not be particularly desirable. Auditory stimulation can have such a strong affect on our mood that I encourage you to really be honest with yourself about what annoys you and how you might remedy the situation. There are, for example, a lot of new dogs in my neighborhood that have all decided to have bark fests with one another. What I have noticed is that if I have the back window open, I am more likely to hear them than the front windows. So, if I am just opening windows for the sake of air flow, I choose accordingly.


Rather than just get really angry or annoyed by the dogs, I try to find a solution-so that’s what I am encouraging here, is that you identify what helps and what doesn’t and you seek a solution before it drives you batty. A friend of mine mentioned finally caving when her son was a teenager and letting him have a TV in his room-because the video game noises were making her crazy. So, they found a compromise. Obviously, some sounds you can affect and others you can’t-like the street construction by my house for the last year and a half. But, that’s when you look for sounds that create a positive mood to help balance them out.


Smells, as I mentioned, can also have a large effect on your home experience. The smell of food cooking, or incense burning, or compost rotting are all going to affect you. I like to burn nag champa incense-adored by yogis and hippies alike-and that smell to me creates a feeling of comfort. If I burn sandlewood, on the other hand, I am immediately transported to the temples in China that I visited years ago and it makes me feel like I should be meditating. There’s a whole study, of course, with aromatherapy, about how the different smells can assist in the healing of certain moods and ailments. So, experiment or read up on what would be good for you and consider diffusing essential oils in your home, for example. And pay attention to what smells are affecting you negatively as well. I have a friend who was very bothered by how perfume scented her roommate’s bath products were. Everyday would start out just a little crabby because of it. Again, some things you just have to accept, but in her case she was able to address the issue with her friend.


Overall, don’t underestimate the effect that sounds and smells have on your space. You can make or break a whole day if you have these little perks or irritants. Think about the moods you might want to evoke in certain rooms-romance in the bedroom, relaxation in the bathroom, family time in the living room, productivity in the office and ask yourself what the accompanying sound track or smell might be. So, start paying attention. Notice what is affecting you. Add in more things that can enhance your space and seek solutions for the things that are bothering you.

Summer-Time Feng Shui Tips for Parents

Feng Shui business does have a cyclic pattern to it---very busy in the fall, the first of the year, and spring. Over the holidays, everyone’s schedule gets busy and money may be more of an issue. I get fewer calls during the summer as well because the kids are home from school, people are traveling, doing yard-work, going up to a cabin somewhere. No time for Feng Shui.

However this is the exact time when some Feng Shui principles would be effective to help parents maintain their balance amid the frenzy that comes with extra activities and disrupted routines. Here are a few tips:

1. Parents should have a headboard. The headboard is a significant statement about feeling supported. It should be made out of wood with no opening or slats in order to maintain a symbolic message of continuous support.

2. Remove children’s photos from the bedroom. The parents’ bedroom is a private place for them. Photos of anyone other than the people who sleep in this room should be removed. This is a statement about setting boundaries and being able to say “no” when needed.

3. Keep some areas of the house off-limits to toys and games. When the kids take over the entire house with their play-things, it signifies that they have taken over in a bigger way. The “kid energy” should be contained to not only confirm boundaries but also to teach them responsibility.

4. Make sure the master bedroom is nurturing. This is the time for the parents to ask themselves if they like their bedroom. From deliberate color choices to usable and appropriate furniture, the bedroom should be the adults’ favorite room in the house.

5. Keep the kitchen table clear of clutter. Maintain an element of control over the chaos of summer-time by refusing to let clutter gather on the kitchen table. Since this is the area where the family eats together and talks to one another, it should be treated with respect.

Implementing one or two of these tips can help parents keep a handle on summer-time chaos. When routines seem to be non-existent, integrating a few Feng Shui ideas can create areas of firm stability.

Annual vs. Perennial or Can You Say Commitment Phobic

I’ve started to notice a little trend I have. I have a hard time committing to things. Strangely, it seems to manifest the most with small decisions. Not to say I don’t question the larger ones, but I did manage to commit to a home, a life partner and a business. And yet, I can’t tell you what my plans are for this weekend. Not because I don’t know, but because I won’t commit. This indecision seems to be based on a few different things, but mostly one big one. I don’t like to be wrong.


Now, what’s weird about this is that in most of these situations, no one is there to tell me I’m wrong. There is no external judge, only a little voice in my head; one loud internal judge. But, that doesn’t seem to matter. It also doesn’t seem to matter that in many of these cases, there is no “wrong.” Am I going to see that play on Saturday? What’s the right answer? Guess what? There isn’t one. But apparently that doesn’t make my decision easier. I don’t want to commit to going and then at the last minute decide I don’t want to, but feel trapped by my decision to go and then feel obligated because I made this commitment. It doesn’t matter that I spoke to no one about this decision or lack of it. I am somehow locked into the commitment that I made to no one else but myself. I guess it makes me realize that I don’t like people changing their plans on me, including myself.


So, I thought my little habit was fairly tame until I recently noticed that it had seeped its way into decisions around my home. About a month ago, I went to a big plant sale and bought about twenty different kinds of plants; a mix of annuals and perennials. One by one the plants started to find their homes around the garden. Coleus over here, lavender over there…At a certain point, I hit a wall. I looked at my collection and realized that what was left was most of the perennials. Somehow, I couldn’t quite commit to where they were each going to live. After all, they would be coming back in that same spot every year. Now, never mind the fact that I could move them if need be. No, no, it doesn’t matter. The point is that I have to get it right the first time. I have to know exactly where the best spot is for each plant. And the best spot right now is apparently on the table in the back yard.


Indecision can paralyze us; especially indecision about things around our house. It more often than not leads to complete inaction. And inaction around our home leads to stagnation. Now, this doesn’t usually happen to me about my house, mostly just restaurants. I always joke that when there are too many choices, I pick none. But, I have been better recently. If I can’t make a choice, I remind myself that there is no “wrong” decision. And really to not decide is a decision as well. For example, I can keep the perennials on the back table and eventually they will probably make a decision to die. But, dying because I didn’t plant them versus dying because I planted them in a bad spot maybe seems like a more honorable death. Suddenly, I start questioning why I took up gardening in the first place. I considered different hobbies…I just couldn’t commit to anything.